Managing Summertime Access to Technology

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

MEDIA MATTERS

Managing your kid’s summertime access to technology.

The availability of technology in today’s culture forces us to choose who is allowed access to our home and our children and with what parameters that access is granted. During the summer when school is out and kids have more free time, the decisions regarding media and managing it are even more crucial.

PARENTING TIPS

1. BE VIGILANT: Be alert and pro-active when considering the technology diet of your children. Ie: Know the ratings, research the content and consider the message.

2. GET SMART: Face it, our culture is dangerous. The “I am not tech savvy” mentality or “I don’t have time to learn that” attitude is no longer affordable. Learn how to navigate Parental Controls. If you are technologically challenged, recruit a techy friend as a tutor or visit the Geek Squad.

3. PROMOTE DIALOGUE: Turn your monitoring minutes into teachable moments by engaging your children about questionable messages, language or images. Focus on asking open ended questions that lead to scriptural principals on which they can stand.

4. OFFER A BALANCED DIET: Two hours with the X-Box can be countered by two chapters in a summer reading assignment. A TV show or movie may be complimented by a family game or group activity. Be careful that your child does not become addicted to the indoors. Being creative with family outings, camps and vacation can lead to a healthy respect for and understanding of God’s creation.

5. SET BOUNDARIES: Kids need concrete parameters. Even amidst objection and complaints, kids crave a concrete parameter from which to operate. Verbal instruction will suffice for most guidance, but for best results, consider communicating your expectations in writing.

Summer can be as challenging for parents as it is fun for kids, but applying a few practical tips can make it more enjoyable for everyone.

A few helpful websites:

Ÿ www.familysafemedia.com Ÿ www. tvboss.org

Ÿ www.focusonthefamily.com Ÿ www. tvguidelines.org

Ÿ www.safeeyes.com Ÿ www. pluggedinonline.com

Leadership Style

Sunday, June 21st, 2009

Dictator, Winger or Equipper?

In ministry, you are of course called upon to lead, manage, mentor and guide. It is interesting to observe the variety of leadership styles that exist among ministers.
Most student leaders will readily claim they are Equippers, but my observation suggest that it is a mixed bag of nuts. Often I see a hybrid or adaptation that is effective in some form but too often a form of leadership emerges that is something less biblical, effective or fruitful.
The Dictator is recognized for the following management characteristics.
1. Rule #1 – I lead, you follow, I am the boss, you serve Christ by serving me.
2. Prefers managing paid staff such as ministry assistants of interns rather than volunteers.
3. Personal loyalty is highly regarded and highly rewarded

The WINGER is characterized by:
1. The thrill of spontinaity
2. The excitement of the unknown or unplanned
3. The “lets play it by ear” phylosophy.

The EQUIPPER is characterized by
1. The joy that comes from seeing voluntees become ministry leaders.
2. The excitement of not being in charge of details and minsitry tasks
3. Ministry initiatives dedicated to developing disciple/ministers rather than managing events.
4. Prioritizing time according to those ministry tasks that require a ministr to accomplish.

May we all strive to be equippers of saints rather than directors of positions.

"The Holiness of God" by RC Sproul

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

The following is a reprint of notes sent to me from my youngest son Jarred
I like it . . . a lot

(Dad check out these excerpts from the book I’m reading, “The Holiness of God”, by RC Sproul- I HIGHLY recommend the book!)
__________________________________________________________________
Hans Kung, the controversial Roman Catholic theologian, writing about the seemingly harsh judgments of sin God makes in the Old Testament, says that the most mysterious aspect of the mystery of sin is not that the sinner deserves to die, but rather that the sinner in the average situation continues to exist.

Kung asks the right question. The issue is not why does God punish sin, but why does He permit the ongoing rebellion of man? What prince, what king, what ruler would manifest so much patience with a continually rebellious populace?

The key to Kung’s observation is that he speaks of sinners continuing to live in the average situation. That is, it is customary or usual for God to be gracious. He is indeed long-suffering, patient and slow to anger. In fact He is so slow to anger that when His anger does erupt we are shocked and offended by it. We forget rather quickly that God’s patience is designed to lead us to repentance, to give us time to be redeemed. The SUPREME FOLLY IS THAT WE THINK WE WILL GET AWAY WITH OUR REVOLT.

We must face the difficult question of the the quest for the “Promised Land”. There God explicitly commanded the slaughter of men, women, and children. The Promised Land was given to Israel by a bloody sword, a sword dripping with the blood of infants and women. God directly issued the order for the bloodbath:

“1 When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you- 2 and when the LORD your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. [a] Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy.” (Deuteronomy 7:1-2)

WHY DID GOD issue such a command? How could He have ordered the slaughter of women and children? People are always attempting to soften this event! Curriculum for students try to explain that in light of the New Testament revelation of God’s love we know that God did not ever issue such a belligerent command… The Old Testament is merely the record of a primitive warlike group of Hebrews who tried to justify ruthless policies by attrubuting them to a divine sanction.

These kind of interpretations overlook some vital aspects of the matter. First, there is a historical precedent that is far more severe than the conquest of Canaan- THE FLOOD. In the Flood God destroyed the entire population of the world except for Noah and his family. The Flood was a “conquest of Canaan” on a grand scale. More important is the failure to understand the nature of sin. The assumption of most people (including myself before God revealed these ‘nuggets’ to me), is that God wiped out INNOCENT people in Canaan. In fact there were NO INNOCENT women or children in Canaan. The conquest of Canaan was an explicit expression of God’s RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT on a wicked nation. He made that point clear to Israel. He also made it clear to ISRAEL that she was also not innocent. It was not as if God destroued a wicked people for the sake of a righteous people. To the Canaanites God poured out justice. To the Jews God poured out mercy.

“4 After the LORD your God has driven them out before you, do not say to yourself, “The LORD has brought me here to take possession of this land because of my righteousness.” No, it is on account of the wickedness of these nations that the LORD is going to drive them out before you. 5 It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of their land; but on account of the wickedness of these nations, the LORD your God will drive them out before you, to accomplish what he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. 6 Understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the LORD your God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people.” (Deuteronomy 9:4-6)

God did not choose Israel because Israel was already holy. He chose them to make them holy. God ordained a scorched-earth policy to purge the land for future salvation. THIS is “Holy Justice”.

(These are excerpts from the book I’m reading, “The Holiness of God”, by RC Sproul- I HIGHLY recommend this book!)

Top Three Complaints I hear about Student Leaders

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

A few years ago I began to take the opportunity to survey pastor, staff, volunteers, interns and others connected to Student Ministry. The dialogue became an eye opener for me. Not really a shock but the consistency of feelings and target of much frustration began to show with clarity.
Below I have highlighted the basic form of my findings from the the survey question: What do you find is the most challenging aspect of your relationship to your student minister.

Ranked in order by greatest frustration/challenge response.

1. From the Pastor: he/she doesn’t communicate
2. From Parents of Youth: he/she doesn’t communicate
3. Other Staff: he/she operates as a lone ranger
4. Acquaintances: he/she is too busy for anything else

FACEBOOK NATION

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

OK, so if you are not a FACEBOOK kind of person, you are going to feel a bit antiquated in the world of adolescents. Since I saw this coming many years back (ok, so Walt Mueller told me about it), I joined Facebook just to see what others were doing. It felt like I was graduating from MySpace with the tassle turned to a whole new world openning up.

Confession, The fastest way to reach me is still on my mobile phone (24/7 except for a 1hr. work-out & 2 min. shower), next is by texting me, next an email and finally Facebook. I would catogorize myself as a cultural user – ie: dont really need it, like it but could do without it. Usefull, yes, worth the upkeep – not so much. But hey, if you want to be culturally relevant and teach others who work with students to at least give the apperarenc of relevancy, you gotta be on Facebook – at least until twitter becomes a household name. So, for now we are a Facebook nation with a Twitter curiosity. I would not mind having one less thing to learn in our every changing culture of technology

We are ministering to: The Most Connected, Yet most alone Generation in history. How is that the case when they seem to be connected to everything and everyone? Because students today are connected electronically rather than being connected relationally.

A bit of Facebook trivia to make you feel relevant!

Facebook, formerly The Facebook, is a free-access social networking website that is operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc. The website’s name refers to the paper facebooks depicting members of a campus community that some Universities and prep schools give to incoming students, faculty, and staff as a way to get to know other people on campus.

Mark Zucherberg founded Facebook while he was a student at Harvard University. Website membership was initially limited to Harvard students, but was expanded to other colleges and Stanford Univeristy. It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over. The website currently has more than 175 million active users worldwide.

It is estimated that 13 percent of Facebook customers access the site using their phones.

Facebook already has applications on devices such as Apple’s iPhone and the BlackBerry, which let users post updates and send messages to their friends. The company is working with phone makers to tie Facebook more closely to mobile devices, allowing users to merge their phone contacts with their Facebook friends.

Who knows one day, we may not even have Deacon’s Meetings, we might just Facebook our thoughts on the Wall!

Barna.org Challenges us with Stats

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

What expectations do teens have about attending church?

45% Worship or make a connection with God.
42% Better understand what I believe
34% Spend time with friends
34% Get encouraged or inspired
30% Volunteer to help others.

What do teens learn from their experiences in church? (top four answers)

65% Moral and ethical standards
62% Relationships
55% Faith traditions
50% Personal evangelism

Prayer . . . Essential

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

“A man may study because his brain is hungry for knowledge, even Bible knowledge. But he prays because his soul is hungry for God.” – Leonard Ravenhill

My oldest son is part of a prayer group of men. I thought I would share with you an adapted version of his encouragement to them, to me and now to you.

John Piper reminds us about a pressing and essential ingredient to life in his book: Let the Nations Be Glad.

“Until you know that life is war, you cannot know what prayer is for. What have millions of Christians done? We have stopped believing that we are in a war. No urgency, no watching, no vigilance. No strategic planning. Just easy peace and prosperity. And what did we do with our war-time walkie-talkie (prayer line to God)? We tried to rig it up as an intercom in our houses and cabins and boats and cars – not to call in firepower for conflict with a mortal enemy but to ask for more comforts in the den.”

As we go through out our day, I encourage you apply the urgency and persistence of prayer that Piper stresses. I pray that you will continue in and out of a perpetual state of prayer – whether at work, the gym, driving, or in the comfort of our home. But let me remind you as I remind myself – let’s try to commit at least 10 minutes of prayer time alone to God (minimal). I’m talking about alone in our room or home with no one else around just you and the Lord. Consider praying out loud even (it keeps me from being side tracked). We must realize how desperately in need of Him we are and we can’t afford to go without prayer. We simply cant afford and don’t have time to leave out prayer!

In Ephesians 6:17-18 Paul makes the connection between the life of war and the work of prayer. “Take the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.” Notice how it says in 17 – “take the sword of the spirit…. praying”! So how does verse 17 say we are to wield the Word? – By prayer!

Just pointing out the obvious connection between war-time and the work of prayer. Have a great day on the battlefield boys! My prayer time will be at 10:00am sharp. How bout you?!

A prayer from A.W. Tozer in “The pursuit of God”:
“Lord teach me to listen. The times are noisy and my ears are weary with the thousand raucous sounds which continuously assault them. Give me the spirit of the boy Samuel when he said to Thee, “Speak, for thy servant heareth.” Let me hear the speaking in my heart. Let me get used to the sound of Thy voice, that its tones may be familiar when the sounds of the earth die away and the only sound will be music of Thy speaking voice. Amen!”

Fingertip Porn

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Recently the expert culture watcher, Walt Mueller was conducting a Q&A session with parents. One of the parents from the audience asked Walt what he felt was the single most impacting cultural change that those who live with and serve youth should be most concerned about. His answer is no surprise but a sober reminder to us all. He said: “As a husband, father of two girls and two boys, and a youth culture-watcher, I would have to say that one of the cultural changes that concerns me the most is the growing volume, pervasiveness and accessibility of online pornography. It’s shaping how an entire generation is thinking about themselves, about others and about the wonderful God-given gift of their sexuality. And to be honest, where I think it’s leading our kids is very, very frightening.”
I know that I do not have to remind you that our culture is indeed shaping those we love and serve more and more towards a self absorbed, pleasure seeking, self excusing, egocentric group of whinners. I know you know and I know that you know I know you know and I know that you know that I know you know I know.
But more and more we see students AND parents who want something for nothing and then complain when it requires some effort on their part. We don’t want to EARN it, we would rather just HAVE it.
We blame the system, the govt., the “man” (whoever the “man” is) and then wonder why our students seem to abort responsibility and perseverance.
I offer TWO insights for practicum:
1. Teach students to take pride in and personal responsibility for all they do, see, hear and participate in.
2. Teach students that the truth of Christ and His teachings are absolute, irreversable, binding and full of grace.

Small Effort, Big Difference

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

At some point all of us have been annoyed by a persistent little pest.

I am not talking about the overprotective, high maintenance parent that likes to bend your ear before and after every ministry event. I am talking about Genus Anopheles, the most common mosquito found in North America. These little blood suckers are normally not a problem due to our indoor work life, insect repellents and outdoor spray control programs. But have you ever been in a dark room, eyelids in the resting position, drifting peacefully off to sleep when suddenly you hear it. A buzz, then more buzzing, closer and closer until your position is compromised. At that moment you know unless you deal with this little problem, your chance for a peaceful night’s rest is wishful thinking.

May God supply you with the confidence found in II Corinthians 9:10 “Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness; “

The Superman Syndrone

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

No, I am not talking about your Intern staff or the effect your last successful ministry event had on your psyche. I am referring to the invisible shield that surrounds the adolescent with regards to his/her perceived consequences for actions.
Like a private tattoo engraved just below the surface, there is a marking on the chest of every adolescent, a symbol and reflection of developmental stage and attitude. Although it arrives at different times, rest assured that between ages 14-17 nearly 100% have been imprinted.

Just beneath his shirt/her blouse there is a giant “S” tattooed. Superman and Wonderwoman are alive and well. In fact, it is the primary reason why teens don’t “get” it when they are given advice, guidance or warnings. They consequences are for someone else, anyone else, and someone other than them, but not them. He/she is the exception, the ONE to whom the law of gravity and the law of action and reaction (Newton‘s Third Law of Motion) does not apply.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects. The size of the forces on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object. The direction of the force on the first object is opposite to the direction of the force on the second object. Forces always come in pairs – equal and opposite action-reaction force pairs.
Students tend to develop this natural sense of “that won’t happen to me” mentality when it comes to a variety of risky behaviors (sex, stealing, lying, speeding, reputation, etc.)

What can be done about this Superman Syndrome? The bad news is that it can not be prevented entirely. It can not be removed entirely and it should never be discounted. The good news is that it can be channeled, shaped and reduced to an appropriate level for healthy processing and adjusting during the developmental stages toward adulthood.
Which, by the way are:
1. Infancy (birth -age 2)
2. Early Childhood (3 – 8 yrs)
3. Later childhood (9 -12)
4. Adolescence (13 – 18).
5. Adulthood – 18 and over

Three tips to ministering to the Superman and Wonderwomen of your ministry.
1. Remember they are in process and not camping out. They are on a journey and the youth group is not the destination.
2. DOING – shapes future behavior more than hearing & seeing – hands down, always, bank it, shoot it, count it.
3. You can’t shape them all (not even half, not even a third) you must train volunteers to take up the same mantle relational ministry as you.