Fingertip Porn

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Recently the expert culture watcher, Walt Mueller was conducting a Q&A session with parents. One of the parents from the audience asked Walt what he felt was the single most impacting cultural change that those who live with and serve youth should be most concerned about. His answer is no surprise but a sober reminder to us all. He said: “As a husband, father of two girls and two boys, and a youth culture-watcher, I would have to say that one of the cultural changes that concerns me the most is the growing volume, pervasiveness and accessibility of online pornography. It’s shaping how an entire generation is thinking about themselves, about others and about the wonderful God-given gift of their sexuality. And to be honest, where I think it’s leading our kids is very, very frightening.”
I know that I do not have to remind you that our culture is indeed shaping those we love and serve more and more towards a self absorbed, pleasure seeking, self excusing, egocentric group of whinners. I know you know and I know that you know I know you know and I know that you know that I know you know I know.
But more and more we see students AND parents who want something for nothing and then complain when it requires some effort on their part. We don’t want to EARN it, we would rather just HAVE it.
We blame the system, the govt., the “man” (whoever the “man” is) and then wonder why our students seem to abort responsibility and perseverance.
I offer TWO insights for practicum:
1. Teach students to take pride in and personal responsibility for all they do, see, hear and participate in.
2. Teach students that the truth of Christ and His teachings are absolute, irreversable, binding and full of grace.

Small Effort, Big Difference

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

At some point all of us have been annoyed by a persistent little pest.

I am not talking about the overprotective, high maintenance parent that likes to bend your ear before and after every ministry event. I am talking about Genus Anopheles, the most common mosquito found in North America. These little blood suckers are normally not a problem due to our indoor work life, insect repellents and outdoor spray control programs. But have you ever been in a dark room, eyelids in the resting position, drifting peacefully off to sleep when suddenly you hear it. A buzz, then more buzzing, closer and closer until your position is compromised. At that moment you know unless you deal with this little problem, your chance for a peaceful night’s rest is wishful thinking.

The truth is, every youth leader feels small and insignificant at some point. When your moment comes or returns, remember that even a small effort can make a big difference.

So, write that encouraging note, send that personal email, prepare that lesson, stop by the game on your way home, show up at the pep rally and keep on praying . . . because in God’s economy small is relative. Small persistent investments in His hands can produce huge dividends.

May God supply you with the confidence found in II Corinthians 9:10 “Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness; “

The Superman Syndrone

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

No, I am not talking about your Intern staff or the effect your last successful ministry event had on your psyche. I am referring to the invisible shield that surrounds the adolescent with regards to his/her perceived consequences for actions.
Like a private tattoo engraved just below the surface, there is a marking on the chest of every adolescent, a symbol and reflection of developmental stage and attitude. Although it arrives at different times, rest assured that between ages 14-17 nearly 100% have been imprinted.

Just beneath his shirt/her blouse there is a giant “S” tattooed. Superman and Wonderwoman are alive and well. In fact, it is the primary reason why teens don’t “get” it when they are given advice, guidance or warnings. They consequences are for someone else, anyone else, and someone other than them, but not them. He/she is the exception, the ONE to whom the law of gravity and the law of action and reaction (Newton‘s Third Law of Motion) does not apply.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects. The size of the forces on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object. The direction of the force on the first object is opposite to the direction of the force on the second object. Forces always come in pairs – equal and opposite action-reaction force pairs.
Students tend to develop this natural sense of “that won’t happen to me” mentality when it comes to a variety of risky behaviors (sex, stealing, lying, speeding, reputation, etc.)

What can be done about this Superman Syndrome? The bad news is that it can not be prevented entirely. It can not be removed entirely and it should never be discounted. The good news is that it can be channeled, shaped and reduced to an appropriate level for healthy processing and adjusting during the developmental stages toward adulthood.
Which, by the way are:
1. Infancy (birth -age 2)
2. Early Childhood (3 – 8 yrs)
3. Later childhood (9 -12)
4. Adolescence (13 – 18).
5. Adulthood – 18 and over

Three tips to ministering to the Superman and Wonderwomen of your ministry.
1. Remember they are in process and not camping out. They are on a journey and the youth group is not the destination.
2. DOING – shapes future behavior more than hearing & seeing – hands down, always, bank it, shoot it, count it.
3. You can’t shape them all (not even half, not even a third) you must train volunteers to take up the same mantle relational ministry as you.

Can’t stop it, Can’t move it

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Ever heard this question? What happens when an unstoppable force or object collides with an immovable object?
The standard answer and the one I was always told is that the end result of this scenario would be Total Destruction. But recently I discovered that this is not the case. A physics professor explained it this way: The nature of the immovable object is that it can’t be moved, and the nature of the unstoppable object is that it can’t be stopped. So, if by chance the unstoppable and the unmovable should meet, their collision would form a new object possessing the nature of both entities.
The nature of the new entity will be both immovable and unstoppable and the two objects would no longer exist, but rather is molecularlly transformed into the newly created entity. This cuased me to consider this: When God’s unconditional, absolute love collides with His unmovable law of sin and death, the result is the destruction of the old self and out of it – a New Creation, a new entity is born. ‘
So let the collision begin . . .

Summer Camp vs. Mission Trip – choose wisely

Saturday, February 21st, 2009

In meeting with a small group of student leaders recently, one comment in particular caught my attention. One minister declared; “well, we don’t DO summer camp any more, we do mission trip. Our kids would rather do missions than camp and I think that reflects mature ministry.”

For a little while I managed to keep my mouth shut and not respond (but those 15 seconds passed fast). I was hoping he would clarify his position a bit before my mouth opened. Hurry, clarify that with something intelligent. I prayed for strength to hold my tongue, I applied my hand to my mouth in hopes that it would remind my lips to stay neutral. To no avail, as soon as an appropriate pause entered our presence, I shared my thoughts on “mature” ministry. Stepping up to my summer camp soapbox, I began; Friends and neighbors, young and old, stupid and brilliant, egoistic and humble, beginners and veterans – It is of course not an either/or and it is also not about both/and, at least not automatically so. Rather, it is about planning with stinking purpose . . . for the hundredth thousandth time. And let me just add a side bar here for the GenX and Millennials; contray to popular belief, Doug Fields did not come up with the idea of Purpse Driven Ministry. It is not a Saddleback concept. Now for those of you who drink weekly from the faucet of www.simplyyouthministry.com, please put your swords and paintball guns down. Make no mistake about it, I am glad for Doug’s book and resources. PDYM was long overdue in a time period in modern youth ministry when we were becoming overstocked with slackard and disfunctional student ministries. In fact, I built an entire course around it (STM 310) as the primary text book at the Baptist College of Florida. But with all due respect to the decade old Purpose Driven movement, I was taught the concept of planning with purpose and creating mission satements by old professors back in 1981 at New Orleans Seminary. And, I might add, they seem to teach the concept as if it was an old staple of mature ministry even when it was taught to them- way back in the day.

Ok, back to Camp vs. Mission trip – when I hear this idea of missions rather than camp, what I am often times really hearing – besides bla bla bla bla bla bla bla is:
1. I cant afford to do both summer camp and mission trip, so we pick the one that is the easist to garnish financail support from our senior adults and others to pay for most of it.
2. I am not very successful in doing outreach to connect to the lost community, so we just nurture our “core” kids and take them away on mission trips.
3. We dont have any peripheral students or lost kids hanging around our ministry so we dont have much need for a camp where the lost will be saved.
4. It is much easier to herd “core” students than manage a pack of wild students who think, talk and behave like lost students.
5. I am a “Lone Ranger” style of ministry and I simply can not coordinate and direct two major events during the summer and keep our other minsitry programs up to speed.
6. It sounds more spiritual to declare our love, support and intentionality towards the call to mission endeavors.
7. Serving others through missions makes our ministry look more Godly even though many of our students who are passionate about serving in Jesus’ name never apply His purspose for living to their daily life actions.
So when someone says: “we don’t DO camp, we do mission trips” it may not be for one of the reasons above but the real point of position is this: We must plan our ministry caledars with purpose towards accomplishing a comprehensive and balanced ministry which can and perhaps should include two of the most productive ministry initiativfes on the calander – Summer Camp and Mission Trip. In doing so, we help push on towards accomplishing the neccessary balance of Evangelism, Worhsip, Discipleship, Ministry and Fellowship (thanks Doug)